ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
