yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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