perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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