I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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