It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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