idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
