sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
