so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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