Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Randomize
