He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
