I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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