Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
