For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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