Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
