you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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