suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
