I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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