He asked me if I "almost moaned"
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
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im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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