Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
