We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
