Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
