im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
