you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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