Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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