I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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