I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
