Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
ttyl tear gas
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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