making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Randomize
