Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
thus making me awesome and them whores
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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