ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
