Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
