she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
