i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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