how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
