so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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