Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
