I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Randomize
