My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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