fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize