She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
