Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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