Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
