In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Randomize
