just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
