Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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