Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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