I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
