Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
