Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
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