i permit you to call me
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
