Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
