Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
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I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
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There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
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