Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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