Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
