i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
