I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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