college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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