the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
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He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
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I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
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