Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize