Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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