Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
