Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.