It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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