glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Randomize
