thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
