what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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