there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
