Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
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My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
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I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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