We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
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