the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
