i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
