I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
