We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Drunk is not a location!
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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